Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
