How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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