dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize