We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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