i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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