Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
