make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You made out with two different species that night
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
