they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
