i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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