this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
