the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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