it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
4 words: hood of his car
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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