Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
