how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
PANTIES FOUND
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