their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
