So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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