The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
