someone threw a dead crab at me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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