East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Need sex. Gaining weight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
