Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
