No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize