So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
