Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize