That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
