i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
