This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
