I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
