genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
