What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
