i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
