I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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