but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
