Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
