New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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