your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
