where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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