Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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