I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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