areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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