Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
