if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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