I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
