we have officially lost it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My vagina just clenched in fear
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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