Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
