i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
