I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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