The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
