When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Two words: blizzard sex
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
