Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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