ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
