Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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