She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
