You're so nebulous sometimes
Its about making memories worth repressing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Drunk is a universal language darling
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
