And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
