Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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