so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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