One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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