when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
