Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
